Out of the night that covers me

What’s next!

The hardest thing for me to do lately is probably an easy thing to do but when your life or maybe your mind is over flowing with everything you find it hard to do at times. Standing still, being, quite or just doing nothing lately has been hard. Today, I am doing all of those. What’s funny about today is that everyone want to call you and want something from you. Something free. I have a family… I wonder if anyone has considered that fact. Anyway…. I am off the radar today. I need time to myself to reflect on what direction I want to go in, what moves I need to make, how to proceed, what will I need to accomplish these things and how it will effect us in the long run. I have been interview for different freelance projects, jobs and potential opportunities and nothing solid has come from them yet. Maybe GOD has a different plan or has open a different door. It’s has been hard to see, hear or wait for God to move me towards what he has for me. I’m blogging this today because I don’t really have anyone outside of my wife to express my thoughts lately. I could use a bipartisan individual to talk with sometime. This is not and invitations to anyone reading this… I’m ok… I need to give God some personal time. I go about the life everyday and ignore his presence and how he wants the best for me… Like my wife he wants me to be happy. For the first time in a long time… And just by being still I realize that I’m not happy. I am content with life, I am thankful for a beautiful wife and kids but so unfulfilled. I love them just as I love  God but I am not happy. Can anyone else get that. Does anyone else feel the same. Today, I am on a quest to becoming happy again. Loving my wife, the kids and being happy. You can have love for others, provide for others, have fun with family but I need to also be happy. No, I’m not leaving my wife and kids. A person can have all of the love in the world but can be so unhappy. That’s me… And I don’t want to be anymore. Thanks for listen or reading. I have to play some Sam Cook, a change gonna come or maybe the Seal version and then as God what’s next.

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